I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel a little scared now (that you are going to chloroform ME and drag me into the park, and that you last message was some form of heads-up). LOL. Rest assured, tuesday at 7pm you're meeting an aspiring prosecutor. The only thing you have to worry about is (1) me tossing you into jail for cocaine posession or eating a disgusting amount of McDonalds and/or (2) having too good of a time. ;) I'd allow you to pat me down before the date to check for contraband, but I usually save that sort of thing for after the 3rd or 4th date. LOL. You're in good hands and I'm looking forward to meeting you.
-F
Ahhh Fest you're killing me!!! Two LOL's?? And a smiley face?? Not to mention the fact that you equated an illegal drug with the greatest restaurant in the world (actually he isn't completely wrong there...McDonald's is quite addictive and fast food is always being portrayed as some sort of lethal substance by the moms of weebly wobbly kids who just can't say "NO!"). I also wonder why he would assume I would have coke on me. Hmm. Maybe my paranoid message put out the nervous drug addict vibe (though he couldn't be further from the truth).
Not gonna lie, though. I absolutely love that he cracked a joke about patting him down. Clever (not just an attempt like his "Alaska" reference), and flirtatious. But the "3rd or 4th date"? Either you are quite the gentleman or you overestimate the business hours of the muffin shop. Then again, I have always heard that the 4th date is the unofficial "wanna come back to my place" date, but I have never been one for strict schedules. This line also made me a little suspicious given that he played college football at an Ivy League school which typically translates to mad cooch from team groupies, so I did a little research. I rechecked the area code of his phone number from the text and boom, mystery solved: Fest is from the Midwest. My friend, SB, goes to school out there and says those boys move at a snail's pace with the ladies - chivalric, considerate, etc. In other words, the boys of America's Heartland are nothing like the seemingly not housebroken breed with which I am used to dealing on the tri-state area. This should be a nice change of pace, if he is actually telling the truth, that is.
Well, Fest. You have made quite the turnaround from my initial assessment of you based upon your profile. Let's see if I am really in "good hands." That's Ginge's stand.
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